Sometimes You Have to Weed the Garden

A couple of nights ago I was having dinner with some girlfriends and we got to talking about our friendships with other people. One of my friends seems to have a lot frineds with issues - big, sloppy issues - that are always causing drama. All they do is complain about their problems, their lives, etc. While we all have friends like this, she seems to have more than normal.

Some friends are lifelong freinds, some are friends for just a couple of years (or maybe months or weeks). And sometimes you have to remove friends from your life (weed the garden) when they get to be toxic (or "suckers" as my friend calls it because they tend to suck life out of you). Toxic may seem like a harsh word but if a friend is causing you grief or stress then you have to ask, what kind of friend are they?

Friendships, like most relationships, are a two-way street; you have to give and then you can take. But life changes, situations change and people change, and sometimes there is a lot more taking than giving. And it's hard to always be supportive of someone who asks for advice and then never takes it or isn't as supportive in return.

I will tell you, from experience, weeding the garden is not an easy thing to do. A few years back I had to end a relationship with someone I considered my best friend, someone I though I'd be friends with for the rest of my life. But there may come a time when you have to say to goodbye. Maybe you'll finally get tired of all the negativity, or the flakiness, or the taking and no giving.

So keep the friends who accept you for who you are, friends who will support you in the same way you support them, friends who don't take you for granted. They are the flowers you want to keep in your garden. Remember, life is too short.