Getting Back the Happy

It’s been a very stressful couple of months for me and the results have affected me physically, mentally and emotionally.  What I really need is a vacation.  That’s a long-term plan, but in the short-term I need to get back to the things that make me better and happy.

Reader’s Digest listed 20 simple ways to get happy that I thought I’d share.

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment and don’t waste the moment by dwelling on what’s happening later.

2. Laugh out loud. When I’m at work I often laugh because the other option is crying.  Laughter is so good for you.  You on your next break take a moment to read/watch something funny.

3. Go to sleep. I know when I don’t get enough sleep, especially over several nights, my mood changes and not for the better.  Turn off the distractions (computers, televisions, etc.) and get a good night’s sleep.

4. Hum along. Listening to music improved my mood and makes me happy.  I have to do that more often.

5. De-clutter. It may seem daunting at the beginning but the end results feels so good.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren’t necessary and that you don’t enjoy.

7. Make a list. I made a grocery list last week but forgot to take it to the store. Not much good if you don’t look at them or take them with you.

8. Do one thing at a time. I multi-task so this may be hard.

9. Garden. I know this works for some people but not really for me.  Yes, I like to look at pretty garden flowers but I don’t have a garden to plant.

10. Tune out the news. I tend to watch about 30 minutes of the news in the morning and check the news on the Internet throughout the day.  As a former journalist, it’s what I do.  But when something happens (like the Boston Marathon bombing) where the coverage is non-stop, I don’t have any problem turning the TV off.

11. Take a dog for a walk. I don’t have a dog but my sister does, two actually.  When she travels I house/doggy sit and, while I love her two dogs, I really don’t like walking them.

12. Scent the air. It only takes one Yankee Candle (the best smelling candles out there).

13. Ignore the stock market. Done.

14. Visit a quiet place. I like to read during my lunch hour but there isn’t any place to do that in my office so, weather permitting, I drive to a park.  It makes a difference.

15. Volunteer. Would like to be able to do more of this but don’t have a lot of time.

16. Spend time alone. I probably spend too much time by myself but I'm content with my own company.

17. Walk mindfully. Apparently “mindfulness” is a mental technique to bring about a relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops (when walking this means paying attention to footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind). Not sure about this. If I become too “mindful” I can walk into a wall.

18. Give priority to close relationships.

19. Take care of the soul. Studies have shown that actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises.  Having a faith can provide a support community, a sensing of meaning in life, and different/clearer perspective on life.

20. Count your blessings. Every day!

Dessert, Glorious Desserts

First, let me apologize to all those reading this who do not live in the Denver metro area. If you like desserts, you'll understand why I'm apologizing.

Last week I went to the D Bar in Denver (D stands for Dessert).
http://www.dbardesserts.com/
One of the creators of this wonderful place is Keegan Gerhard, former host of Food Network Challenge.  While this restaurant has a regular food menu it specializes in desserts.  And oh, they are wonderful!

There are two dessert menus, one for daytime and one for nightime.  During the day you can get cake and shake, milk and cookies, creme brulee, molton cake, cheesecake, bread puddin' or a bag "o" dounuts.  At night the menu gets more elegant with some of the daytime items but also orange-ya glad this souffle has booze!?, tropical fandango (key lime pie), and pink! (buttermilk panna cotta with raspberry cloud, prickley pear sorbet). 

I went one night after work with a friend who was visiting and were lucky enough to sit at the bar.  But this wasn't you're ordinary bar where alcohol is served.  Nope, by sitting at the bar you got to see one of the chefs plate all the desserts.  That was as exciting as the actual desserts.

My friend and I split the d=mc2 which was milk chocolate three ways with mousse, salted carmel, peanuts and praline, rice krispies and ice cream.  Here's what it looked like:

Before

After

Yes, it was lick the plate delicious.  So if you live in Denver or plan to visit, make a stop at the D Bar, it's worth it.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part - Part II

Well the waiting is over.  I had applied to attend a rather prestigious artist retreat in Saratoga, NY called Yaddo where I was hoping to spend two weeks working on my writing.  The place offers residencies to professional creative artist to work on literature, film, choreography, musical composition, painting, performance art, photography, printmaking, sculpture and video.  I didn’t think my chances were that great because technical I’m not a professional writer (I’ve never had anything traditionally published).  Yesterday I got a form letter from the Admissions Committee saying I hadn’t been invited to attend.

It’s not my first rejection letter and it won’t be my last.  I am only slightly disappointed since I didn’t have high expectations to begin with.  But you can’t accomplish anything unless you try.

Letter to U.S. Congress

Dear Members of Congress,

You better shape up because you’re not doing a very good job.  I don’t care if you’re a Republican or a Democrat, your behavior has shown that you are more concerned with politics than with people.  If you were in any other job this kind of work performance would probably get you fired.

You seem to have forgotten who you work for.  You do not work for President Obama.  You do not work for Speaker John Boehne.  You do not work for the wealthy individuals or corporations that funded your campaign.  You work for me and the rest of the American public.  You are supposed to be working for our best interests and so far you have failed.

I think it’s safe to say that the American public is tired of your complaining and blaming others for not being able to do your job.  Stop it.  We all know the economy stinks but we are expecting you to take action to make it better.  We understand that it won’t happen overnight and compromises will have to be made.  But nobody seems to be making a real effort to accomplish that.  Buckle down, start communicating, and get the job done.  If you don’t, you’ll eventually be out of a job.

Sincerely,

One of Your Bosses

American Citizen

#2 Ain't So Bad

Gallup put out a well-being index score for U.S. states recently.  The data was based on daily surveys done from January to December 2012 calculating on a scale of 0 to 100 (100 being ideal well-being) areas such as emotional health, physical health, healthy behavior, outlook on life, job satisfaction, and work environment.

Want take a guess as to which state ranked #1?  Go on, I bet you can guess.

Yes, that’s right.  Hawaii.  I believe my well-being would be pretty high if I lived in Hawaii. 

But I shouldn’t complain because Colorado came in at #2, then Minnesota (#3), Utah (#4) and Vermont (#5).  At the bottom were Arkansas (#46), Tennessee (#47), Mississippi (#48), Kentucky (#49) and lastly West Virginia (#50).

Here’s a map of the U.S. and the rankings.  How is your well-being?

No pain, no gain, right?

According to WebMD, when you exercise your body releases endorphins and these endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain.  Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body (sometimes described as “euphoric”).  Regular exercise has been proven to reduce stress, ward off anxiety, boost self-esteem and improve sleep.

I must be doing it wrong.  I got a gym membership in May 2012 and have been going to the gym regularly (3-6 times a week, 45-50 minutes each visit) since then and I haven’t once felt “euphoric” after a workout.  I feel sore, tired and sweaty.  All those wonderful things that are supposed to be happening aren’t.

I still feel stressed and have anxiety.  My self-esteem isn’t any better and I’m not sleeping all that great.

The photo above had the caption, “Nothing beats that post-workout glow.”  Bullshit.  I have never, ever, had a post-workout “glow.”  I look like crap when I’m done working out.  My hair is all matted with sweat, my clothes are sticking to me and I usually walk funny because I’m sore.   I’m still waiting for those endorphins to kick (anytime guys).

THINGS that Matter

We surround ourselves with things, cars, furniture, clothing, electronics.  And if we are honest, we all probably have too many things, things that we don’t really need.  But there are things in our lives that matter, for various reasons.

Some of the things that matter to me have to do with memories of people and places.  I have photographs all over my home.  Photographs of my family and friends and places I’ve been, and all of these things matter to.  I have things that belonged to my father and grandparents that matter, a desk, a ring, a contact lens case.  Books are also things that matter to me and I have books cases filled will books I read when I was 12, signed books by my favorite authors, and classics that I read over and over again.

The window in the photo is another thing that matters to me.  It was given to me for my 40^th birthday by a very dear and close friend.  It hangs in my living room and it makes me happy when I look at.

The frames in the other photo are something I just recently started.  In those frames is sand from different beaches I’ve visited.  They hang next to my bed.  I look at them every morning when I wake up and every night before I go bed.  They remind me of happy times and that one day I want to live close to the beach and the ocean.

In the last couple of years I have really tried not to buy things that don’t matter and that I don’t need.  Yes, there are things that are necessities but what about everything else?  We all know we buy things to make us feel better; because we saw it in a magazine, or it’s the newest, trendiest thing, but do these things a really matter?

I recently saw an Nate Berkus interviewed.  He is the interior design who became famous after being on Oprah and who lost his partner in the December 2004 tsunami.  He wrote a book called “Things That Matter.”  He said a couple of things that stuck with me.  First, surround yourself with things that bring you joy.  Newest gadget may be entertaining but do they really brining you joy?  And second, stop a moment before you purchase anything, a piece of furniture, clothing, toys and think about whether you really need it.

Why do we hold on to so many things that don’t really matter?